"I'm reluctant to give advice to people Ive never met. Every relationship is unique. I can only say whats worked for me as a parent, and to boil it down to its essence, its this: I trust my animal instincts. Regardless of our myriad plans, were hardwired for reproduction. Pregnancy is the most natural of processes, not a medical condition, and parenting follows from there. All this hard work is baked into us to give ourselves over completely to that small being. To nurture, support, and hope fiercely for the best. Culture and conditioning have taught us other priorities, and obviously Im glad humans have projects beyond parenting. I'll fight for a woman's right to choose not to be a mother. But once we're on that road, it's helpful to listen to the long chain of DNA that got us here: you're an animal. Get the brood outside. Model the behavior you want, but let them play. Make things together. Let them try hard tasks, even if they fail. Confidence comes at the end of the rocky path, not the paved one. Remember your job is to become obsolete. Success isn't keeping them in the nest, but teaching them to fly away." Barbara Kingsolver shares more on mothering, farming, ecology, and life in this interview.
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